Christian family

Have You Bought the Lie?

~ Bev Parker ~ Leave a comment

The home truth is beautiful, so unutterably beautiful.

A young man once told my husband that his wife wasn’t using her education, helping with the finances (they had kids).  John said, “Nothing you will ever do is as important as what she’s doing at home with those kids.”

A respected woman with many, many YouTube viewers recently talked about how we all have a ministry, and could be reaching the whole world with a YouTube channel.  She said to stop with the excuses—not enough time, not tech savvy, later when the kids are grown . . . . . There was more—about callings and purposes, about building things . . .

And then she said an indicator that you might need to be building a YouTube ministry is if it’s already what you do—the one who prays for people, the one people call for encouragement—that sort of thing.

There’s a lot in that, and it’s worth a bit of a ponder, a chewing on, before swallowing.  First, if you have a family, you have a ministry, and it can change the world.  Second, the answer about waiting until the kids are grown is not an excuse—it’s a priority and a conviction about what’s right and real.  And third–what if you spend all that building-and-blessing-your-own-beloveds time (the ones gifted specifically to you by God), building a YouTube channel? Is that wisdom? Better find out from the One who knows.

It’s not “I can do all things through christ jesus.” It’s, “I can do all things through CHRIST JESUS!” Otherwise, we’re looking in vain for that purpose-driven life, trying to feel like our lives matter, that we matter, and trying to find that approval, that “Job well done!” from a world who doesn’t really know us or care.  Silly, silly.

Daughter Rebekah and I recently watched Love’s Portrait (beautiful, beautiful movie set in Ireland) and while it was a lovely romance, the subplot blessed me as well.  There was a little sister who was told she needed to go make a life for herself.  She said, “I already have.”  Her life was rich and full and she was wise enough to know it, and to ignore all the “wise” ones giving that worth-what-she-paid-for-it advice.

I’m thinking that before we have any advice worth sharing we need to be doing the first and foremost of all ministries and callings, the most world-impacting of all building—we need to build our homes.  Let’s wait a bit on Proverbs 31 vineyard planting and sash sewing and making bunches of money.  Let’s go back to Proverbs 14—The wise woman builds her house–house meaning, among other things worthy, her family.

Building people, making history, ensuring tomorrow—that’s what homemaking is, even if you’re the last woman standing in this lonely arena (you’re not—that’s a lie from Hell) you are among the good and great company of real and true women throughout the ages who knew what was what, as do you.

But you don’t need anyone’s company or approval. You will pray and grow and know that your husband’s heart safely trusts you, and you will be blessed by your children, and you will know that you know your life matters.  And one fine day you will hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Yes, there’s a whole lot of servant-ing going on in this most excellent of lives, but then Jesus was a servant, wasn’t he? 

Wealth–It’s Not About Diapers or Tomatoes

~ Bev Parker ~ Leave a comment

In answering a question about my view of wealth, I once answered “tomatoes.” I was thinking of my grandmother’s adept peeling of hot-off-the-vine, sun-split tomatoes from her garden, and eating their sliced deliciousness with nothing but salt and myself. Wealth.

That same grandmother once said, “Well! He did that just right.” She was watching John carefully fold and gently apply a soft, cloth diaper to Rebekah’s baby bottom. Wealth.

Rebekah, like her sister Hannah, didn’t fuss or cry when her diaper was wet. She sent in my direction a businesslike grunt of sorts and I responded immediately. No soggy bottoms on my watch, no sir! Wealth.

A lovely woman once discussed cloth diapers with me, telling me how other moms thought she was ridiculous for using them. “I enjoy the extra time, the interaction,” she said. I knew what she meant. We shared something precious, an understanding of the beauty, the wealth found in taking that extra moment to make things “just right.”

It’s a matter of opinion and preference, of course. With our fourth child, when John was changing a smelly diaper, he said, “We are not this broke. No more cloth diapers.” I didn’t argue. There was a new wealth at this time, one made of cash, one not as rich.

I am not suggesting you use cloth diapers or grow your own tomatoes. I am simply suggesting that wealth is made of moments shared.

What do you do?

~ Bev Parker ~ Leave a comment

I was asked this question by a “working” woman and I didn’t answer.  I knew she didn’t have time.

But I’m going to give it a try, as it’s early still, and by day’s end I’ll have done so much I won’t recall it all.

I awoke around 6:00, thinking of yesterday’s blessings and thinking of God.  I “slept in” until 6:20, which is 7:20 in Texas.  After a quick face wash teeth brushing, it was time to pull on my warm robe and to call my daughter, who was on her way to class at Kenneth Copeland Bible College, and to thank her for sending to me some of her class notes on prayer, as well as a lovely scripture.

She was, as always, happy to hear my voice.  I shared devotionals with her, and talked about revelations from the day before, what was on her agenda, and then prayed with her before she left her car and started her classes.

It was then time for my early morning “encouragement cuddle” with John, which he seems to think is necessary to give him strength to get out of the warm and cozy covers.  Next came the fun job of picking warm clothes for this bright and chilly Rocky Mountain day – black jeans and thick black socks with a black, pink, and blue plaid Betsy Johnson flannel shirt (nice and long and flattering).

This accomplished I returned to my Quiet Time with God, listening first to Joel Osteen’s timely words which were direct answers to questions I had about a few of my endeavors, including writing.

I went from Joel to Audrey Mack, whose thoughts about the joining of the Spirit and the Word gave me more prayer fodder.  And somewhere in there the complicated became simple, and I knew exactly how to solve a writing problem that had been vexing me for some time.

Wow, wow, wow.  I didn’t waste time.  I wrote.  An entire chapter.

I then awoke Seth with a coffee promise, put the heavy whipping cream into a warmed Mary Engelbreit cream jug, heated cups and put on the percolator.  Such a joy, the soon gurgling coffee rising up and showing off through the glass atop the percolator.

John had already told me he didn’t want breakfast (we ate late last night), so I talked food talk with Seth as we satisfied our tummies with very creamy coffee.  We also covered a bit of history – things like the amazing tonnage of steel the US produced in peacetime Depression years, when various automakers went from steel to aluminum, then “after-market” work on less than stellar truck engines, and finally, comparisons of 20th-century world dictators.

Next we went through the fridge freezer and found nothing for lasagne, which Seth thinks is the thing for dinner tonight.  He took off to my writing cabin, where there’s a freezer full of meat (he is very fond of coming home with sausages, bacon, deer, and various other treasures).

Somewhere in all this I wrote a letter to our son, Benjamin, who is overseas in the Military, and tucked it into a card.  John found a lovely verse to add (Psalm 139:9-10 NIV) and Seth added a couple of words as well.

We will make a special trip to the post office soon to mail this along with a letter to a loved one in prison, and I’m about to write a short letter to Rebekah, as well.  Don’t we all love to get real mail?

Sending real mail is one of the lost arts of this age of “working” women, but I am determined to do my part to keep it alive.  That’s what homemaking is about, keeping the worthwhile alive.  That’s what home is:  Life.

“What do you do?” she asked, truly curious about how I spend my time.

So far this morning I have also washed the sheets and a white blanket, and put in a load of jeans and dark T-shirts.  I have resisted the urge to fold the whites done last night, as there are major things I want to get to today, and I can fold the whites later, perhaps when my daughter Jane calls me back (I called her as well this morning, but she was at work early and couldn’t talk).

Back to the utility room:  Ignoring the whites, I filled a pot with hot water, vinegar, and a little bit of Dawn, because I’m about to scrub the trim and railing in the stairwell, as it is high time it was painted to match the trim at the top and at the bottom of the stairs.

My first plan for today was to deal with apples.  I have a big box completely full (given to me yesterday at church) that I plan to turn into apple sauce, pie fixins, etc., but that will wait until afternoon.  The stairs must be done first, while the motivation to scrub is living (which is why I must stop blogging – I have already written a blog post this morning about homeschooling!).

I am no doubt leaving things out – like the skimming of a magazine, straightening the living room, sweeping under the table, and in the foyer, checking mousetraps, the underlining of a favorite verse in The Passion Bible, with a mental note to share it with Hannah, the daughter who gave me this Bible for Christmas last year.

I hear the truck – Seth has returned.  It’s time to do something.

Praise the Lord, first of all, for the endlessly rewarding, challenging, and beautiful gift of Home.

Blessings all over you, Dear Reader!

Bev