Bible

The 5 People (possibly?) Fallacy

~ Bev Parker ~ Leave a comment

A Closer Look at the “5 People You Hang With” Thing

The saying is that you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with, and I’m hearing it often.  But I’m not quite comfortable with it—I get a little squirm of doubt and unease every time it’s repeated. While I see the validity of the statement—bad company does indeed corrupt, and good company certainly is a welcome and a needed influence (eating out with people who order steak and salad instead of burgers and fries, and who always look on the bright side, like my sister-in-law Liz) there is still a little squirm of unease and discomfort with the “5 people” mantra, and here are my thoughts and questions about it:

  1.  I’m not a statistic.
  2. I’m not an average.
  3. I am meant to overcome evil (or whatever undesirable influence) with good, not the opposite.
  4. I am not seeing anything in Scripture that says I’m to ditch my family and friends when they aren’t of use/benefit to me.
  5. This sounds like bravery, but is it?  Wouldn’t real bravery speak up when needed, or do the opposite of the crowd when wisdom so dictates?
  6. If I can see the problem, aren’t I called to be a good example by not joining in?
  7. Wouldn’t praying in love and faith be simpler and more beneficial for all parties than simply seeking a new circle?
  8. Can’t God be trusted to bring those new relationships into my life, even as He can be trusted to lead me with the current ones?
  9. Am I trying to escape something/someone I need to face, and thereby grow in freedom and grace?
  10. Could it be that I’m not the marvel my imagined new circle will welcome with open arms?

This statement, I believe, has value when you’re trying to get free from parasites/addicts—when your life actually depends on leaving a circle of death.  But for your family and friends, maybe you’re just meant to be the voice of reason, the doer of the beautiful, the example, the prayer warrior.  Or maybe you’re in a situation like mine has been lately—I am meant to allow the relationship to be so covered with grace, that my flesh has to shut up, that I have no alternative to doing the only thing that ever really changes things:  Trust God.

And here’s another maybe:  maybe you’re meant to be like Pastor Mark Hankins’ mama, who when the talk got negative said, “Let’s talk about Jesus.”  If that didn’t do the trick, she began singing the song, “Let’s talk about Jesus.”  Eventually people get the message—even the one in the mirror.

God-Blamers, Patronizing Christians and Other Party Poopers

~ Bev Parker ~ Leave a comment

I was having a lovely quiet time at home this morning, as my dear husband was quite ill. After a couple of days in bed, he decided to join me, asking me to read aloud from the Bible whatever I was reading. As it was Proverbs 31 (today is the 31st and I try to read P31 on the 31st) I changed it up a bit, figuring he’d rather hear something else. He was soon asleep and I decided to head on to church, even though it would be half over when I got there.

And the fun began. Well, it was fun at first as the sermon was anointed unto marvelousness. But when it was over the lady behind me hugged me and said she was “proud” of me for coming to church, and that she knows sometimes it’s tempting to stay home, etc. Believe it or not, oh Jesus-misunderstander, I am never “tempted” to miss church. I simply take it week by week in prayer. ”Am I to go, Father?” I ask. And within moments I know. 

Funnily, on the times when I feel I am to worship at home, it will turn out that the super-anointed, wise and beautifully gifted pastor wasn’t preaching that day, and in fact was actually sleeping during the sermon given by someone else. I will learn that the music was dull as dishwater and that the announcements went on unto doomsday. ”Thank You, Holy Spirit.”

So. Well, that little assumption that I need to be told I done good came from a source I can often rely on to talk to me as though I’m a grade school child: a teacher. Let us all beware of thinking everyone else is as unenlightened, dumb as a post, and undisciplined as a school child.

And so much more so, let us all beware of people who have, because of JUNK taught in Sunday School, and churches everywhere evidently, that God is a twisted monster. ”Why does God let babies (or “cause babies to” some actually say) be born without arms and legs? Why does God do this horror or that horror? ”Thalidamide,” I suggested (not from God, but from doctors who think they’re God perhaps?). I added, “The thief who comes to steal, kill and destroy as in John 10:10!” 

The pastor’s wife chimed in, “We live in a fallen world.” Whooosshh! Right over the God-blamer’s head that went, as she continued in the same vein.

It is so grieving and eventually so upsetting/angering that we just have to speak up. Christians have been Satan’s mouthpieces for long enough. Let us all beware, and let us not be IGNORANT of the Word of God. And the next time someone blames God for evil, let us be His champion, religious lies be damned. 

The Word says He turns what the enemy intends for evil, to good for those who love Him. Yes, we have an enemy and God aint it. And no, if you deep down believe God is your enemy, you can’t truly love Him. You can only fear Him, and think maybe if you show up to church every time the doors are open you’ll escape his wrath. Maybe.

As Christians we are not heathens trying to appease an angry God. In Him (that means in faith, not fear and ignorance of Him) we are more than conquerors. He said so. Of course, if you’d rather take the word of some over-educated “theologian” over the Word of your Creator, you really shouldn’t be that surprised when things don’t go well.

So, here’s me giving you permission: If you’re getting this kind of nonsense in church, do stay home and read a book, or eat chocolates, or take a walk and sing a song. And have a little talk with Jesus, just the two of you, no “teachers” necessary.

Just Say “Whoa!”

~ Bev Parker ~ 3 Comments

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Upside down and backwards – that’s how you and I can turn the devil’s schemes, if we will evade the trap of judgment.

What is your burden, what is your lament?  That is also your clue to where you have power.  Take that thing that irks, bothers, grieves you most, and pray!!!

When you catch yourself (as I did recently) feeling utterly defeated and hopeless and just plain aggravated about something, and you hear yourself saying STUPID things such as, “That battle is too far gone, it’s hopeless, that problem is fully entrenched in our society (or in your marriage, family, child, friend) and will never go away,” JUST SAY “WHOA!”

The grief over that problem – in this case I was talking about the ravages and seemingly hopeless problem of drug addiction – is your latest unction to pray.  The Bible sets a very opposite picture of what we’re to be, from what we often are.  We are not called to be defeated, defensive, hopeless whiners and sideliners.

We are to be, and are promised that we are, way more than conquerors (Romans 8:37).  Matthew 10:8 says, “Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.”

Does that sound like a tall order?  I don’t look at it like that.  I just say, “OK, Lord.  I believe.  Show me how.”  I want to turn the devil’s tricks upside down and backwards.  I want him to wish he’d NEVER messed with me and mine.  I want to turn every lament, every whine and gripe fest into Victory in Jesus.  Amen.

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Fathers, (and Mothers) Provoke Not Your Children to Wrath

~ Bev Parker ~ Leave a comment

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My motives are pure:  I love children.  They are of exceedingly great value in my eyes.  Therefore, when I see them, as in the grocery store not long ago, screaming at and hitting their mothers, I am more than grieved, shocked, and appalled.  I am mystified.  Or was.

I drove home sick at my stomach.  “I don’t understand, Lord,” I prayed.  “Why would a mother put up with this?  How does this happen?”

And insight came:  She hasn’t done the nurturing, she knows deep inside she has no right to admonish.  Ah yes, Ephesians 6:4, KJV–And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

That child was provoked to wrath, in this case I surmise by the mother as well as the father, because of the absence of balance.

I, for one, have always preferred nurturing to admonition.  John (my husband) told me long ago, that if I had to err, my children would be better off with a little less nurturing and a little more admonition.  My response was that I don’t have to err, not if my nurture and admonition are directed by the very Spirit of God Himself, and that I will nurture my children until their cups runneth over, thank you very much.

I secretly thought I would just leave most of the admonishing to him, and I know I have plenty of sisters who think this way.  Not good.

My daughter is acquainted with a young woman who said she wished her mom had married someone else.  This is a family where the mom never disciplined, so the dad had to be the bad guy.  Not fair, not healthy.

We must all be brave enough to examine our parenting in the light of scripture, and let our child’s behavior be the indicator of where we might be missing it, be it nurture, admonition, or simply complete disregard for the author and finisher of good parenting–that would be our child’s Creator.

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Early Morning Rain, Jesus, Testosterone, Good Books, Babies, and so Forth

~ Bev Parker ~ 1 Comment

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I cut and pasted these from my 2009 Facebook “25 Things” because it made me happy to read, and because I think it will be fun to add to it.

1. I love quiet time with Jesus early, early in the morning, and a nap in the afternoon.
2. I love putting in a load of laundry at 4:00 a.m. before I build a fire, make a cuppa or indulge in my latest new coffee, and settle in for quiet time.
3. I love being a member of the revolution Jesus started 2000 years ago.
4. I love rain. And more rain. Long, grey, dreary rainstorms.
5. With good books, like five or ten, fiction and non-fiction.
6. And a journal with colored pens, and a legal pad for absolutely mindless scribbling.
7. I love sending letters on nice stationery with lots of stickers and a pretty stamp.
8. I love watching my kids out the window on their sleds.
9. I love it when they wipe out and shriek with laughter, only to be pounced on by the dog, and get up and do it again!
10. I love John.
11. I love men who are so manly the testosterone drips off them, but they wear pink proudly, and are really good at comforting babies and changing diapers (John).
12. I love men who sing country love songs and hold my hand and sound like Vince Gill (yes, you guessed it – John).
13. I love men who love like Jesus – John, and also my dad.
14. I love my friends and all my family, especially all those little babies I have never seen.
15. I love big hardwood trees in the fall.
16. I love Fall.
17. I love God’s new mercies every morning.
18. I love color, lots of clear, bright color, or soft, muted colors. And light – iridescent, translucent, luminous, shimmering light.
19. Like on water. I love water, especially the Pacific ocean, but any water will do. I even love mud puddles.

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20. I love to travel. Even if it’s just a new dirt road close to home.
21. I love conversations with friends.
22. I love home schooling, and all my great teachers – my children.  And talking about home schooling with other home schoolers.
23. I love studying my kids, discovering them, marveling at God’s genius in creating them.
24. I love marriage. And chocolate.
25. I love whipping the devil’s butt when he tries to make me afraid. I love Jesus.

April, 2015 – And smiling teenagers teaching themselves without any Mom-prodding.

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