” . . . there is no place in the world where the amenities of courtesy should be so carefully maintained as in the home. There are no hearts that hunger so for the expressions of affection as the hearts of which we are most sure. There is no love that so needs its daily bread as the love that is strongest and holiest. There is no place where rudeness or incivility is so unpardonable as inside our own doors and toward our best beloved.” – Rev. J. R. Miller, D.D. in Home-Making
Rude and disrespectful children were not taught at home the example of kindness and consideration. They were not shown by their parents the value of respecting the hearts of others.
From the time our kids were small we praised them for their kindnesses to others, and actively taught them how to bring light to the lives of others via small kindnesses. And it began at home.
“Your sister is a gift from God, one that you will always have. When you’re a very old man and have a sad day you will call her and tell her your troubles and she will pray for you and tell you she loves you,” we told the boys more than once.
“Some girls don’t have brothers,” I remember telling one of the girls. “Your brother will grow up to be a good, strong, kind man just like your dad, and he will always care about you and always help you and always love you.”
And so forth. And then, we would tell them to spend just a little time alone to pray (it’s never too early to teach a child to take their burdens to Jesus) and later they were required to give each other hugs and say, “I love you.”
To this day we have four kids who love each other and show it. They are kind and courteous almost all of the time. And if they slip up we are quick to check them. As I said to our oldest son not long ago, “You will never have a truer friend, you will never know a more quality person, than your brother. He’s a 17-year-old male right now, and if you’ll think back to when you were a 17-year-old male . . .”
He got the point: Courtesy begins at home.
“The tenderer the love and the truer, the more it craves the thousand little attentions and kindnesses which so satisfy the heart.” – Rev. J. R. Miller, D.D. in Home-Making